My Long List of Enemies

Matthew 5:43-44
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Dear Friends,

When I read this passage, I tend to think about the enemy elsewhere or overseas, abstract and removed from me personally. But Jesus wasn’t talking about the enemy far away. 

He was talking about the enemy up close.

The word for “enemy” in Greek is “ekthros” which means the one who opposes you or is hostile to you. 

Some of you know the hostility of your boss or co-worker. You’ve felt the hostility of your neighbor or spouse or classmate. 

I’ve felt this. I’ve known hostility from others. I’ve known it from people that I love who hurt me deeply through exclusion. I’ve known it from being a female pastor through the opposition and marginalization I’ve received from some Christians. Even family members can be hostile at times.

Friends, we have all felt the hostility of another person and we’ve all been hostile towards other people. We’ve known enemies and we’ve been enemies.

Lately, I’ve seen an influx of “enemies” growing on social media and in conversations. Buzzing under the surface is hostility, blame, revenge, and hatred towards the “enemy” where it feels like a war has been declared and everyone must pick a side. 

The list of people’s enemies keep growing longer and longer…

We’ve made enemies on every side and all around. We’ve made people into the bad guys and have grown increasingly hostile towards each other. I don’t think Jesus is saying that some people aren’t the enemy and he isn’t saying that they aren’t actually hostile towards you and you just need to let it go. No, he’s asking you to love them even in their opposition.

But it’s really hard to love people and to hope for their best and to want their good when they are purposefully hostile towards you.

So what if you can’t love your enemy? What if you can’t muster up the strength, the energy, the ability to love them? 

Friends, the Lord is with you. Loving your enemy—the person or people that have caused you harm or the people who seem against you at every turn—sometimes it’s there that you have to throw your hands up and cry out, “Lord, I cannot do this on my own! I cannot love this person right now. I cannot pray for their good and if I’m near them I might do something I will regret. Lord, I need you to love them through me and in spite of me.” 

Praying for your enemy isn’t some doormat theology where you allow toxic people to keep hurting you or you stay in evil situations because you need to love them through it. Jesus is not speaking about you fixing another person or healing someone who is abusive to you or others. Loving your enemies means you hope for their wellbeing and you’re for their good. It means that you’re for them, even if it has to be from a distance and through prayer.

I’ve noticed that something happens to me when I pray for people I have a hard time loving.

My heart softens towards them. I begin seeing them as the beloved child of God instead of a sum total of their behaviors and points of disagreements. I see their story and their pain and how hard life has been for them. I see that God is for them and loves them. 

Through prayer, the forgiveness and mercy that God has for me becomes the forgiveness and mercy that I have for them because I begin to see that God has prepared a table before me in their presence. I am invited to share a lavish feast with my enemy.

Maybe I won’t see eye-to-eye with them, and maybe they’re still an enemy, but my heart and mind gets changed for the better and it’s there that I am at peace.

So, pass the mashed potatoes and pull up another chair. There’s plenty of room at Christ’s table of grace.

With (love),
Bethany